Today’s social media bombshell was thanks to a couple jobs ago. If you’re keeping track that was the last time I got drunk, the first time I drove drunk (sorry, Mom, Dad, educators). Following that night was when I went dry. I no longer got the relief I was looking for when I was drunk. I no longer made passable decisions when I was drunk.
I wasn’t an alcoholic, mind you. Being an alcoholic means you’re trying to not drink. It wasn’t that I was deciding to not drink it’s that I didn’t want to make the piss poor decisions that come about from drinking.
Then a couple years ago I said, “My name is…” for the first time and now it’s not just deciding to not drink it’s that I’m trying to be a better human. A less broken human. And deciding to be a less broken human is more daunting than not drinking.
All to say I miss bourbon a lot. I miss thinking that I’m okay even when I’m not.