Dry vs. Sober

I miss being a dry drunk. I’ve not had a drink in two and a half years, but I’ve only been sober for three months (officially 90 today – !!!!). People, most of whom I didn’t know 91 days ago, tell me 90 days sober is better than two years dry. I do my best smile and nod. I know for sure my life wouldn’t be the same without these people I didn’t know 91 days ago. The people I’ve met have brought so much love and stability to my life. They’ve encouraged this nascent feeling of being worth their love, this nascent feeling of being worth my love. 

I still miss being a dry drunk. I miss not having to actually think. I miss focusing on anything but me, but I’m starting to become more okay with where I am right now. And okay not just in a complacent way, but more okay in a putting in a lot of introspective work way. 

As I’ve said before. Right now I’m okay. Right now I’m terrifyingly okay with being okay.

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