So many people have lives and families that a compassionate person wouldn’t wish on their worst enemy. I am so flipping lucky to not fall in that camp. My family, for some reason, has yet to give up on me. When I say “family” I mean more than the parents I was born to or the brothers who have suitably picked on me my whole life (love you Big, Tall and Middle). Along the way I’ve also picked up a couple sisters – one younger, one older. Today’s post is about my older sister.
I was recently messaging with her. She’s one who in some of my darkest, darkest moments has dropped everything to be standing with me in a gas station parking lot in January while I bawl. (My little sister would have been there, too, but she doesn’t live in Maine.) During that recent texting spree my sister was flipping amazing (per usual).
She really nailed home why I call my family my “higher power.” When I need to be they elevate me so I feel worthy of chasing my dreams. When I need to be reined in from questionable behaviors or life choices, they do so. When I need to feel loved they never hesitate.
This is what my older sister did for me the other day.
Her: Don’t they [AA] tell you one day at a time? If you do something today that you feel guilty for, allow yourself to feel guilty. Today. Tomorrow is a new day. At midnght let IT go. Whatever IT is.
Me: It’s catching up with all the todays from yesterday.
Her: Looking in the mirror can be for tomorrow, or the day after. We collectively know you will get there. You don’t need to fret about that today. Let me carry it for you for awhile. … Remember today is today, not yesterday. Not tomorrow. You only have to do today.
The tears these texts inspired were quite cathartic. I know I have to do for me, but I also know I won’t be able to do it without the love and care of my friends and family.
So thank you, M, my other sister, my brothers, my parents, my everything. I promise I wouldn’t still be here without you.
I love you.