Again and again

Recently I moved 2.5 hours north of home. Moved permanently 2.5 hours north of home. I no longer have my program in my pocket. I no longer have my support circle right in my pocket. Heck. I no longer have a med head shrink (since my doctor’s residency has now ended). I’m beyond lucky to have a job.

I’m still broken mentally and still an alcoholic. Sometimes these things catch me by surprise. I’m not in a location I automatically associate with drinking. Not in a place I automatically associate with suicide.

However, I am still an alcoholic and still majorly depressed. And these two conditions have a wretched way of rearing their head when I least expect them to.

I am so over my head and all the wretched things it does to me on the daily. That’s why I drank so much. I wanted to shut my brain off. I still do.


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