Trigger Warning: Sexual violence

If you’ve known me any length of time, particularly over the past couple years, you know that I often have to process whatever in my life through writing.

This is where I am right now. Needing to process.

Last Thursday while I was giving a Lyft ride the male passenger got very handsy with me. Despite me telling him explicitly to stop he continued. He also spent a lot of time fishing for information about my sexual encounters despite me telling him to stop.

He’s made it uncomfortable for me to be around men I don’t know well. He’s made me doubtful of everything.

I reported him to the police, I’ve talked to my shrinks, I’ve talked to my sponsor, I’ve talked to SARSSM. I’m doing the things those in the profession or with experience have advised me to do. But I’ve been traumatized. I’m a different person than I was a week ago. I react to things differently than I did a week ago.

I don’t know this me yet. I can tell you there’s still a vein of the old me in me. Last Thursday I was a victim of sexual assault. Today I’m trying to be a survivor.

Thank you to those who’ve been here for me through this process so far, and those who will be going forward.

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