Some of you may find yourselves wondering why, as someone reasonably intelligent and with a better than minimum wage job, I get so much of the food I eat at gas stations. At this point the reason is simple: they scare me.
I could, and have, so easily pick(ed) up a bottle of whiskey on the pretense of going to the store for pasta salad. It’s not that I seek out the liquor aisle so much as I see it everywhere.
I miss being dry. Not only was I not drinking but I wasn’t hypersensitive to alcohol’s existence. Now I trend towards sober and someone can walk by me and I know what they’ve been up to. Or at least an overactive imagination has me thinking I know.
Moral of the story: I miss being able to get pasta salad from the grocery store.
mydarkestplaces 
Find a grocery store that doesn’t have a liquor store with it. Just saying. Center on your writing not what has been. Each day is the first day. Your an published author now. Find your bliss in you craft. One day at a time. ;-{b
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I think all Maine grocery stores have agency liquor stores. And I am trying for one day at a time. Sometimes more fruitlessly than others but at least a quasi-good faith effort.
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My initial thought was that fear and faith are opposed and that by making effort to put my higher power in my life, I can overcome anything. However, faith has taken me substantial effort, and if I’m not careful, can be quite fleeing. I had a strong negative perception of what a higher power was which I struggled to untwist due to my sick perceptions. Have you considered going to the grocery store with someone in the program? I find the buddy system invaluable for social events, and it seems fitting that it may work in your situation. Talk with your sponsor and others that you have contact with. Try to get outside yourself with others experience, strength and hope. I think we all could use a little pasta salad from time to time. Remember, the first word of the first step, is we. 🙂
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