Ouzo demons

I’ve been, unwittingly, clinging to a small bottle of ouzo for five years. I got it as a thank you gift from friends and put it in a safe location. Then forgot about it, rediscovering it a couple weeks ago.

One night last week I just clung to the bottle. I didn’t drink it, heck, I didn’t even open it, I just sat on the edge of my bed rolling the bottle between my hands for hours while I flirted with a panic attack.
I did what They tell me to and contacted my sponsor. I contacted some others I trust. And I ended up putting the bottle down still without opening it. 

This is a good thing. 

Less good is I put it on my nightstand. A place I could just look at it, and it could look at me. 

I was, honestly, a little (lot) scared to touch it. I felt myself spiraling. Again. But this morning I did touch it. This morning I packed it up in a bag and brought it to a friend who promised to destroy it for me. 

This morning I feel like the world’s strongest woman. And exhausted. Doing the next right thing is exhausting. 


2 thoughts on “Ouzo demons”

  1. It can be exhausting. But it is definitely rewarding. I’ve been slipping over the last two weeks in terms of doing. I started resenting people. Then I told myself that I didn’t need to go to a meeting. Which is the biggest red flag on the planet for someone like myself, after going back out once. So I went to two meetings today. You did the right thing. As your program grows, you may find that you do things that at one time seemed … well, seemed to be a waste of time. Doing for others without reservation. But I’ve found that time is one of the most valuable things I can give. And when I give it away, I keep it 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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