Okay so I’ve talked about music on here before. I guarantee I will again. Heck I’m doing so now. But the reason for today’s post is less in regards to how music centers me and what it means to say music is a trigger.
As an example, I wrote in one of these posts about “Gray” by Ani Difranco. An equal example would be “Win ‘Em Over” by Melissa Ferrick (“So here I am asking/I’m asking the sky for an answer/Why did you curse me with this gift/When half the time I don’t even think I’m worth it”). Both these songs remind me – in a way that’s less than a happy memory – of a particularly tough time in college when I had several relationships that were rocky. Not to mention my relationship with myself that was even rockier then than it is now. There’s even “How to Save a Life” by The Fray which makes me think of a good friend who committed suicide.
When I hear any of these songs, and oh so very many more, I tense up to the point it’s like I’ve become a fallen tree limb. A fallen tree limb that’s rotting on the inside. I may as well be walking the halls of Dean Eaton or Sykes – dorms on my college campus – and mentally that’s not always the most fun place or time for me to be. I don’t know how to make music hurt less. I’m not 100% sure if I did know if I would make the music hurt less. After all, it is a large part of me. All I can think Is that sometimes music really sucks.