Fellowship

Today’s meeting reminded me how important the fellowship of AA is. I’m not in danger of going out, but I’m in danger of sitting back and doing nothing. And today’s meeting had me laughing, wanting to cry, and celebrating my friends in the rooms.

That’s why I created a fundraiser on Facebook for the BARN (Bangor Area Recovery Network) for my birthday. Without this venue I’d be in a much more dangerous place. Without my education at St. Lawrence I’d be in a much more dangerous place. Without my family I’d be in a much more dangerous place. Without the people I’ve met I’d be lost.

It’s well evident that I’ve battled mental health and alcoholism for many years. I’ve battled myself. But then a man with 44 years sobriety talks about how he’s battled the same things. And he’s still sober today. He retired from a career. He raised a family. I’m not about to raise a family, ever, but there are kids whose lives I want to be a part of.

This isn’t a battle that can be won alone. It’s not a battle that can ever be won. There’s no going back once you say your “name is.” Unless you’re ready to go back to chaos. Today I’m not ready to.